The Lodge was a resort that seemed to rise from the ashes like Joaquin Phoenix. Located somewhere in Ontario, Canada, its exact coordinates are a mystery. What is known is that it used to be a Home For Wayward Boys in an area with a large concentration of pine martens. These furry little creatures were everywhere at The Lodge. The owners, however, embraced these animals and even included a pine marten in the logo and created the pine martini as a tribute. Getting bit by a pine marten was one of many risks facing guests, who had to sign a waiver as thick as a Stephen King novel. Once they checked in, however, guests experienced a resort unlike any other. They could stay in one of many themed suites, such as one named for Dyan Cannon that featured a real cannon that could be fired to summon staff. No need to worry about gaining weight at The Lodge, which pioneered the concept of “microdining” (every meal came with a jeweler’s loupe and tweezers). Guests could take a dip in the infinity pool, which stretched as far as the eye could see. Lifeguards had to have exceptional vision to keep an eye on swimmers. And if a swimmer was lost, most likely the body was never found. Archery was mandatory and lawn darts were everywhere. Frequent guests could attain the level of Lodge Master or Lodge Mistress, which was the only reward redeemable from The Lodge’s loyalty program. Customer service was unparalleled. No outlandish request was denied, whether it was sweeping the grounds for accordions to appease Don Knotts or building an outdoor boxing ring so that Jo Anne Worley could take on all comers. The Lodge sought out A-list celebrities, but had to settle for the likes of Robin Leach and Stacy Keach, Toby Keith and Yasmine Bleeth, Marjoe Gortner and Frank Gorshin, Elaine Joyce and Joyce DeWitt, Tina Yothers and Sally Struthers and the list goes on. Sometimes the celebs wouldn’t get along, as evidenced by the epic fight between Marty Kroft and Ruth Buzzi that ended in gunfire. Perhaps the crowning jewel of The Lodge was The Fractions Lounge, where you could see Frankie Valli and the Two Seasons, The Dave Clark Three, Kool & The Small Gathering or The Monkee. But all strange things must come to an end, and The Lodge disappeared as mysteriously as it arose. Some say it was reclaimed by wayward boys. Others say it’s now a nature preserve for pine martens. Whatever the truth, The Lodge will live on in lore and gore.