After hearing fantastic tales of an Informal Super Highway where caped Super Computers guard vast, fast-moving sea currents of cryptic treasure – which they then house within deadly ice-block chains – and after reading tall tales of mythical patches of publicly accessible “lie berries” in which greeting card catalogs were made to conform to an obscure filing system so that people could feel the pull of loose threads, not from digging for interred nets in the dark corners, but by opening and entering haunted, motionless tombs called “tomes” where ancient texts had somehow been catfished and trapped in sticky black ink on both sides of every piece of paper in weird little dusty piles and preserved like an entomologist’s specimen collection in columns called “pair of graphs” and then sewn and glued into the clutches of unchanging cardboard and cloth covers whose “soft” or “hard” backs sometimes contained “blurbs” and whose batteries are always dead and who will never now find their cellphone chargers; Sean Bokenkamp recently embarked upon a safari across the information deserts of the web-wide world. While on this arduous journey he learned how to delete caches of cookies before tossing them as well as the utility of using strongman tactics with straw men and straw-man tactics with strongmen.

 

Documentation from this safari can be viewed by clicking these magically transportive letters: